Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Book Review: The 10 Myths of Teen Dating by Daniel Anderson and Jacquelyn Anderson

Parenting is hard enough but it gets scary and more challenging when your daughter starts dating. It's definitely a jungle out there. You want to protect her from mistakes and heartaches. But how? This book is a useful guide for parents who want to help their daughters date smart and avoid making mistakes. Most likely, they will still make some mistakes and/or experience heartaches but hopefully, the pain and mistakes are minimal when they are well equipped in advance. The author, Daniel Anderson, is a father, husband, and high school teacher who has had a front row seat to real life problems among teens who embrace faulty ideas/beliefs/assumptions about dating. He wrote this book with his twenty-something daughter (also teacher) who offers valuable insights from a girl's perspective. The book covers 10 dating myths (lies) that lead young people to disaster and misery in their relationships. Each chapter ends with Questions for Reflection and Questions for You and Your Daughter to Discuss. The book talks about pressures from wrong thinking such as FOMO ("fear of missing out") and YOLO ("you only live once"), wrong roads to happiness, the pitfalls of following one's heart, the difference between value and self-esteem, the difference between boy's brain and girl's brain, the distorted view of love and sex, the consequences of TMTS (too much too soon) relationships, stupid sacrifices, the terrible cycle of breaking up and getting back together, abuse, the problem with rebound relationships, healthy vs. unhealthy dating patterns, and more.

I'm so thankful that my daughter didn't date when she was a teen. Homeschooling helps in that regard. However, lots of the information in this book still apply to her now that she is 23 and in college. I really appreciate the practical and insightful advice, supported by statistics, research data, and personal testimonies. If we parents don't give our children the right information, don't expect them to get it from school, friends, movies, TV shows, music, etc. They will surely be misguided. Peer pressure, corrupted culture, temptations, and desires are strong forces that try to pull them in the wrong direction. Parents must help guide and prepare their daughters to date smart, value her own worth, realize serious consequences of premarital sex, and know that what they do now while dating will affect their future happiness. And pray for your daughters to have Godly wisdom and discernment and strength to make wise/right choices. I highly recommend this important resource to all parents who want to help their daughters through the dating years. A wonderful wealth of much-needed information!

"When a girl is trapped in the on-again, off-again relationship, it fosters a dangerous dependency. In the best of circumstances this dependency weakens a young woman and robs her of her value as she begins to define herself by the status of the relationship." (p. 172)

"This maxim is very true after a breakup: Emotional Pain + Rational Thought = Learning" (p. 213)

About the authors:

Daniel Anderson is a former college All-American basketball player, an expert educator, and a father of two grown daughters and a son. As a veteran high school teacher in the public school system, Daniel was troubled by how his students approached dating and relationships. He and his daughter, Jacquelyn Anderson---a twenty something and also a high school teacher---decided to address this need by equipping parents with The 10 Myths of Teen Dating, their first book together. Daniel and Jacquelyn both make their home in Portland, Oregon.

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~I received a free copy of this book from Litfuse Publicity Group in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

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